A series of seven drabbles
by misshris18
Summary: All of those are SasuNaruSasu to some extent. Written for a meme on my LJ journal. Separate warnings, ratings and author's notes/ summaries for each. All of these are stand-alone, apart from the second one, which is a sequel to the first. M/m slash.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is a series of SasuNaruSasu drabbles that I wrote all the way back in April; I can't believe I forgot to post them here! There are 7 of them, each with its own topic, warnings and rating posted at the top; each will be a separate chapter. **This drabble: **Team 7 mid-mission, camping for the night and shooting the breeze.

**Warnings (for this one):** mpreg discussion, making fun of Sasuke, seriously-pissed-off Sakura

**Rating:** PG-13

**General Disclaimer for all 7:** The characters in these drabbles are property of Kishimoto. No profit is being made.

* * *

**Oh, Kakashi, will you never learn?**

"No! We are _not_ having the 'mpreg' discussion _again_!"

"But Sakura, I was just going to..."

"I said _'no'_, Naruto! Honestly, how many times do we have to argue about this? And how many bloody times do I have to tell you _there is no way in hell_ mpreg is even biologically possible!"

"But Kyuubi said it _was_ possible!"

"Are you _trying_ to give me ideas, dobe?"

Naruto shut his mouth immediately.

"Er, Sakura, not to argue or anything, but..."

"_Kakashi sensei,_" Sakura growled so menacingly, that the two teenagers and one man around the campfire reflexively swallowed and shuffled away from the killing intent she was broadcasting to the entire forest.

Kakashi mimicked a zipping motion over his mask, but his visible eye was still twinkling so much that Naruto and Sakura kept their weary eyes on him. Since Sasuke had only recently rejoined their team, his reflexes were a little slower than they would have been, say, three years ago. So when Kakashi edged closer to him, he failed to respond accordingly and move swiftly away.

"So, Sasuke-kun, I was wondering if we might test Sakura's theory..."

A moment later, Sasuke stopped gaping at Kakashi and closed his mouth with a firm _click_.The other two members of the restored Team 7 stopped their guffawing immediately. Another moment later the sound of a thousand chirping birds filled the forest clearing, accompanied with the less (or more, if you asked Sasuke) pleasant sound of screaming and running feet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning:** m/m slash, mpreg

**Rating:** T

**A/N:** A sequel to the first drabble (you should read it first or this will make no sense whatsoever). What happens when Kyuubi decides to prove Sakura wrong? SasuNaruSasu

* * *

**Best-laid Plans of Foxes and Ninjas**

_Wow, that was certainly worth waiting for,_ Naruto mused, feeling all kinds of satisfied. The teme had finally grown a pair and made his intentions known - not that Naruto hadn't known about them, or hadn't been baiting him all along.

The pale, warm body beside him murmured sleepily and curled further into his side. _Sasuke was a cuddler!_ Oh, but Naruto was going to rip the piss out of him tomorrow!

The first stirrings of dawn lightened the pitch-black night - they still had a couple of hours to snooze. Kyuubi rumbled inside him contentedly; the vibrations lulled him back to sleep.

* * *

_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_ was _not_ supposed to make him want to chuck up his guts, Naruto considered as he crouched miserably behind the bushes ringing the training ground, retching up his breakfast. Neither was Sakura's healing chakra, so far an immensely comforting presense in his life, supposed to feel like sandpaper to his skin.

Sakura did look very upset as she kneeled by his side; Sasuke and Kakashi sensei had looked utterly unnerved to be asked to give them some space.

It wasn't until the healing chakra turned a pale purplish colour that relief spread throughout Naruto's body, and his spine uncurled from the tight bow it had been forced into. His grateful smile was short-lived, however, as he caught sight of Sakura's face - she looked amazed, horrified and scared shitless in equal parts.

"What? Sakura-chan, what is it? Am I dying or something?"

She shook her head. "Naruto, I don't know how to tell you this, but remember all those mpreg discussions that I banned? I'm sorry. Kyuubi was obviously right. I still want Tsunade-sama to double-check, but..."

"...What are you saying, Sakura?" Naruto whispered.

"Congratulations, mommy! You're pregnant! And before you ask, I'm serious as cancer."

"..."

"SASUKE!"

* * *

"...Oh, and don't forget to pick up my sour-cream-and-onion dango while you're out!"

Sasuke tried to keep from throwing up at the mention of the stomach-turning combination. "Have I suddenly henged into your personal slave without realising, dobe?"

Naruto eyed him consideringly. "Yes, yes you have."

"That was a rhetorical question, usuratonkachi!"

"Shut up, teme! You became my personal slave the minute you decided to knock me up!"

"Technically, that was Kyuubi's idea. I just gave you a reason to scream. Louder than usual, that is," he smirked.

Naruto flushed, though it was anyone's guess whether due to embarassment or lust.

"Just do it, will you Sasuke? I'm not feeling so good today. The little beast is kicking like a mule. It's definitely your kid in there!"

"Oi, don't pin that one on me! If anything, it should be proof it's definitely yours! ...And I just realised what I said."

Naruto huffed out a laugh, only to cringe as his swollen stomach noticeably shifted.

"...Is there anything I can do?" Sasuke murmured; Naruto had never seen him so subdued. He should be enjoying it! Instead, he reached for Sasuke's hand and planted it over the bump.

"Here, just rub it a bit. It seems to calm him."

"...Him?" Sasuke's eyes lit up, though Naruto wasn't sure if it was from joy or terror.

"Yeah. Kyuubi says it's a boy."

Sasuke's fingers tightened on his skin.

"_You!_ Oh, you fucking _bastard_! How, how the _fuck_ did I let you talk me into this in the first place?"

Naruto curled up even tighter and moaned as another contraction ripped across his belly.

"Hush, hush, dobe, Tsunade-sama is one her way, I promise. Look, here's Sakura now!" Fingers carded through Naruto's sweaty hair while a cool wet cloth wiped his burning face. If Naruto hadn't known any better, he would have sworn that Sasuke's hands were shaking.

"I'm here, I'm here! Sasuke - out!"

"No! No, please, Sakura-chan, let him stay."

If possible, Sasuke looked even more terrified.

"Fine. But I'm not resuscitating _him_ as well! If he faints, he's on his own."

"Faint?" Sasuke growled.

Sakura did not seem impressed. "I've seen ANBU-level jounin dropping like flies when it came to childbirth. Excuse me if I'm not convinced by your manly badass posturing."

"Oh, oh Kami, here comes another one! Oh, fuck, fuch, _fuck_! Fucking _Sasuke-bastard_! See if I ever let you top again!"

_Don't worry, kit; I've got his chakra all figured out. It'll be his turn next - just make sure you end up on top for a while!"_

Naruto's smile turned truly evil. Sasuke momentarily felt chills run down his spine.

* * *

"Here he is, Naruto!" Sakura placed a tiny bundle into his arms. He turned down a corner of the blanket to be faced with a shock of black, spiky hair.

"Oh," he breathed out, his eyes burning. "He looks just like you!" He said, turning to face Sasuke, who was leaning against the wall by the bed.

"He does, doesn't he? Congratulations, proud parents!"

"Ah, Kakashi sensei, just the man I wanted to see. Come say 'hello' to your new godson."

Kakashi promptly paled and slumped against the wall for support.

* * *

7 months later, Sasuke threw up after molding a Chidori. Half an hour after _that_ bellows of Naruto's name could be heard from one end of Konoha to the other.

In their house, cuddling Satoru in the nursery's rocking chair, Naruto's evil grin made a reappearance as he sat there looking at the tiny pink jumpsuit he had just laid out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning:** implied het (and possibly underaged) sex

**Rating:** PG

**A/N:** Spoilers for Naruto Shippuuden - the Movie. This is what happened when I saw the final scene after the credits and my brain went, no way! Imagine what Sasuke would make of that! And... yeah. This is it: Chiyo-chan visits the Uchiha-Uzumaki household; Sasuke has to be told who she is. He is not amused.

* * *

**A Thousand Sparkles (SasuNaru style)**

"...and so she asked Naruto if he wanted to help her with the making of the next oracle, and you know Naruto, he said yes! I don't think he even knew what he was agreeing to at the time, though; by the time he'd worked it out (or rather, Kakashi-sensei had explained it to him) it was too late to back down - the ritual was all set up, Shion was all prepared... Plus you know Naruto and his fixation with keeping promises!

"Anyway, they never were an item or anything, it was all for the purpose of creating the child to take on the mantle of oracle to her people. But both Shion and Naruto were adamant that she be a child first and oracle later. So, next Monday when she arrives, please do not make a scene. She _is_ his daughter!"

Sakura pauses in her babbling, intent on Sasuke's thunderous expression.

"You waited to tell me until he was off on a mission on purpose, didn't you?" He acuses her darkly.

"Y-yes. But just think, Sasuke, what a hash Naruto would have made of explaining! He would have stumbled all over his words, you would have flounced off and sulked, and frankly I don't fancy spending the next 3 years chasing after you _yet again_!"

"_I do not sulk_!" Sasuke grouches at her. He is ever so annoyed that his Uchiha Glare TM has practically no effect on Sakura these days.

Still, the thought of _his_ Naruto with some _girl_, even if that was over three years ago, and nothing more than an arrangement Naruto had been suckered into by his own unbelievably naive nature, angers him like nothing ever can.

Sakura glances over at Kakashi, who has nis nose buried in a book as per usual, and is _no help at all_, the lazy bugger! Still, it was something they had to do, set the record straight for Sasuke. Knowing Naruto, he had probably forgotten to tell Sasuke that his _3-year-old daughter_ was coming next week to visit the Uchiha-Uzumaki household for a month! Honestly, _men_!

* * *

Sasuke looks at him over his reading glasses when the expected knock sounds at the door, a finger marking his place in the partially closed book.

Sasuke had only slightly maimed him when he had returned from his mission; he had been angry at Naruto not having told him before, though, rather than the issue itself, for which Naruto is eternally grateful (once he had finished grovelling).

But now that he is about to see his precious Chiyo-chan again for the first time in over a year, he hopes to Kami Sasuke would not be a jerk over this. It's Sasuke - it is still a possibility.

Naruto bounces over to the door and wrenches it open, grinning like a fool.

"Where's my Chiyo-chan?" He yells. Sasuke is almost deafened by the resulting explosion.

"Daddeeee!" The little girl shrieks and throws herself in his arms, tipping both of them over on the wooden floor.

Sasuke cannot quite keep his smile at bay. The little girl looks so much like his love that he almost can't tell where one ends and the other begins. He watches them roll on the floor, yelling and laughing and generally getting reaquainted. He stands off to the side, nods a greeting at the shinobi accompanying the girl to Konoha.

Sometime later Chiyo's eyes fall on him for the first time and her exuberant greeting comes to an end. She stands close to her father, shyly clutching at his large hand with her tiny fingers.

"Daddy, is this Sasuke-sama? Mum told me to be polite to him."

"Hello, Chiyo," Sasuke preempts Naruto's explanation. "I'm very happy to meet you."

He smiles gently at the child. It is the smile he usually uses only behind closed doors, and only with one person; but he figures the only other time he would ever use it with is this child, a perfect little replica - cerulean eyes appraising him openly, bright blonde hair falling over one eye.

Much like her dad, it takes Chiyo less than half an hour to adopt Sasuke as her most favourite toy ever, climb all over him, mess up his hair and tip his glasses half off before settling on his knee and, seeing his book, demanding to be read to. Sasuke reads aloud, about Wind chakra molding techniques, and is surprised to see her not become immediately bored and jump off. Instead, she curls further into him and even asks him questions! Her blue eyes shimmer with joy and curiosity, a thousand sparkles, just like her name.

Naruto leans on the kitchen door frame and watches the scene. It is impossible to describe what the sight of the two heads bent together, black and fair hair meshing, does to him. Sasuke crooks his arm around his daughter, tucking her closer into his side, and Naruto's heart fills to bursting with love for this strange man who grumbles and sulks and snaps at everyone, but who holds his daughter like she is the most precious thing he has ever known.

Sasuke catches his gaze. The smile curling his pale lips, crinkling the corners of his weakened eyes, is the only home Naruto would ever need.


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings:** m/m slash; kids

**Rating:** PG-13 for implied sexual situations

**A/N:** This was for one of my LJ flisters' request of, 'Sasuke, Naruto and kids' crazy shennanigans'. Sasuke-sensei resents being sent on stupid missions. His Hokage should know better.

* * *

**Naruto thinks he should be called Sneaky-sama**

"What."

"You have to, Sasuke. It'll be the final step to getting the village to trust you again."

"I repeat, _what_."

"You'll be a brilliant sensei!"

"Dobe, did you somehow have all your memory removed, and can't quite remember who you're talking to?"

"Eh, you can drop the "eats-babies-for-breakfast-bastard" act. Remember, _I_ was the one to drag you to the orphanage that first time. If you won't do it, I'll just have to let the whole village know about that time when you found Aoki and Kiyoko playing with that ginger kitten and..."

"Okay, OKAY! Bloody hell, you play dirty, _Hokage-sama_!"

Naruto grinned his famous evil grin. "I learned from the best, sensei!"

"...Don't call me that."

"Stop grouching and get used to it, teme! Honestly, you'd think I've assigned you to gate duty or something! They're smart kids, Sasuke. Iruka was by earlier to talk me through his choices: Hiyori is a Hyuuga and she's already got access to her Wind chakra; Mitsue is a Nara, and you know there's no other jounin currently teaching that can handle a sulky genius. And Aoki - well, you know Aoki," Naruto trailed off.

"Yes, I know Aoki. I can't believe you saddled me with him. Actually, I can't believe you saddled me with genin at all!"

"Sasuke, you can't go back to ANBU. You know that, I know that. Your eyes are just too much of a liability. A genin team is a viable option to keeping you in circulation."

"Fine. But you owe me. And I'm not taking on a cat rescuing mission, and that's final! ...Oh Kami, I hope they don't turn out like me."

* * *

"_You're_ our sensei? What is the Hokage _thinking_?"

"Shut it, blindeyes! Sasuke-sensei is awesome! You should see how fast he is; he could steal your pants without removing your jumpsuit!"

* * *

"You're not going to fail them, are you?"

"I will if they can't pass the bell test."

"Oh Kami, _what_ have I unleashed? If you start reading _Icha Icha_ I am officially canceling your hot tub priviledges!"

"I might take it up, just to piss you off."

"Don't let Kakashi hear you say that- Oops, too late!"

* * *

"I distinctly remember warning you that I _will not_ be taking on cat rescuing missions, Hokage-sama!"

"You know it's good for them. We can bet on who gets the most scratches!"

"...Are you channeling Tsunade now?"

"Shut up. It'd be fun! Hey, I'll bet you my turn tonight!"

"If you want to get fucked that badly, dobe, you _could_ just ask."

"Sasuke! You know the damned brats are listening at the door!"

"That is the _last time_ you send me out on that mission! Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, dear. Now hold still, you still have some mud in your hair. You know, if you're _that_ upset, you could always punish me, _sensei_!"

"...That's the first smart thing you've said all day, _Hokage-sama_. Now get in the bedroom before I decide this right here is a good enough spot."

* * *

"But Naruto-nii-chan! I've been good and everything! I haven't pushed the spiky-haired baka in the lake for over a week!"

"That is true, Aori, but I'll bet it's only because his chakra control got so good that he stopped falling in. I did, however, overhear a little something from Hiyori about a can of paint and some chalk dust?"

"...she is such a tattletale..."

"Now, now, don't be grumpy. You deserved it. It was a dangerous trick; what if you'd gotten paint in Mitsue's eyes? He could be seriously injured!"

"'Msorryniichan."

"As you should be. Now, listen closely. There is this little trick where you can henge as Mitsue and... ohcrap."

"Now I know you aren't doing what I think you're doing, Hokage-sama. Am I right?"

"Argh, Sasuke-sensei. why d'you have to be such a spoil-sport? Nii-chan was just about to tell me the neatest trick- mmph!"

"Absolutely, Sasuke-sensei! Nothing to see here! Aoki, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Hn. Come along, Aoki. No need to rot your brain by listening to anything that usuratonkachi has to say."

"Hey! I'm still your Hokage!"

Sasuke snorted and lead a giggling Aiko out of the door; Naruto grinned at their backs and Kage Bunshin'ed a clone so he could high-five himself. Making Sasuke a jounin-sensei was the best idea he'd had in years.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings:** m/m slash

**Rating:** PG-13 for language and implied sexual situations

**A/N: **Naruto deals with his own fangirls, post-Pain. Sasuke is no help whatsoever.

* * *

**Naruto the fangirl magnet**

"Holy shit, here comes another one! Quick, hide behind that dumpster!"

"Stop overreacting, dobe. It's just a few fangirls. They're a nuisance, but you get used to them." _I knew it was a bad idea to give him that makeover,_ Sasuke berates himself.

"You got used to _this_? I never knew they were so persistant!" _Thank Kami Sasuke is so damned fast; otherwise he'd have long been chained to their basement wall,_ Naruto muses

"Oh yes. You wouldn't believe how many pairs of pants go missing every week. I have a standing order at that underwear shop on the marketplace corner."

"No way! Do you _know_ how hard it is to find orange boxers in this village? We're going to the hardware shop _right now_ and buying their toughest lock-and-chain!"

_Thank Kami he's so easily distracted,_ thinks Sasuke.

_No one gets to touch his pants but me from now on!_ Thinks Naruto.

"If I'd of known coming out as Sasuke's boyfriend would make me so popular with girls, rather than get me maimed or killed, I'd of done it years ago!"

"Naruto, you two only started going out last month!"

"Isn't it weird, Sakura-chan - now that I've come out as gay is when all the chicks dig me the most! I thought they were gonna murder me for sure this time for taking away their precious Sasuke-kun; instead they whipped out the digital cameras and binoculars! How does taking it up the arse from Sasuke make me the most popular guy in Konoha?"

"Naruto!" Sakura punches him with one hand while stifling a nosebleed with the other.

"Okay then, how about I let it slip that _Sasuke_ is the one to bend over for me? Think the chicks will dig me even more? ...Sakura?"

Naruto follows Sakura's stare to the door only to lock eyes with a very pissed-off Sasuke.

"Are you seriously thinking of _encouraging_ those hussies? Did you not get the memo where you're _mine_ and I _don't share_?"

"Oh, but Sasuke, think of the fun we could have... or not. Okay, not. Fine, I get it! Just stop glaring at me like that, it's scary! Seriously, you're making my nuts want to crawl into my body with that squint."

"Am I going to have to mark you to stake my claim?"

"...Is there a right answer to this question? One that doesn't make me a pervert? 'Cause, _damn_."


	6. Chapter 6

**Warnings:** none

**Rating:** PG

**A/N:** mostly gen, implied SasuNaru. Tsunade comes up with a clever plan to make the upgraded (Sasuke's come back) Team 7 bond.

* * *

**Walking in your teammate's shoes**

'You cannot be serious, Tsunade-sama! I have duties! _Patients!_ And I'm not spending the day pretending to be _him_!"

"I am very serious, Sakura. With Sasuke's return Team 7 must relearn to work together again! Especially since I'm not removing Sai from it. You must all come to understand your teammates! And there's nothing else that has quite the desired effect like walking in each other's shoes for the day! That goes for you too, Kakashi! Get back in here!"

Kakashi slinked back through the window. Damn, escape thwarted!

"Don't worry, Sakura. I'll supervise Uchiha's shift at the hospital myself. We'll all meet back here at 6pm, and you can share your experiences of the day!"

Team 7 sighed as one.

* * *

"Stop being so weak! You only have 5 broken bones and one punctured lung. True, your spleen could have been better, but I'm sure that's your own fault for falling in that ravine."

"Uchiha! You can't talk to the patients that way! There _is_ such a thing as bedside manner in this job!"

Sasuke's eyebrows scrunched together. "Does that mean henging into a bedside table?"

"_No_, it means helping the patients recover by being kind and supportive, not telling them that they're acting like children!"

"So, what you said to that last jounin patient was-"

"Shut up. It's not bad bedside manner to state the obvious!"

"So then I _should_ be able to tell this jounin that he's whining like a 4-year-old with his candy taken away."

"...I give up. Just don't kill or maim anyone. Much."

* * *

"Here! Here, Sakura-nee-chan, throw the kunai at Toshiro this time! He's still too slow to dodge!"

"No, no! Here, I'll throw it for you, nee-chan!"

"Sakura-nee-chan! Pokoyo's run up the tree again! Can you get him down, please?"

"Nee-chan! Nee-chan, Riko punched Wakaki! Right in the nose, too!"

"'S not my fault, Nee-chan, Wakaki dipped my hair in the ink well! Look, it's all dirty now... Waaaah!"

_How the hell does Naruto deal with all this? And keep on laughing and goofing about? I thought spending the day helping out at the orphanage would mean reading to the kids a bit, maybe help with their bath time! I'd need 10 of me just to keep track of the playroom! Oh... no wonder he's so exhausted on Friday evenings - he probably maintains 10 Kage Bunshins at all times over here! I'll never underestimate him again!_

* * *

_Piece of cake. Be Sasuke for the day - that means grouching and sulking and walking around with my nose in the air thinking I'm better than everyone! Oh, wait - brilliant idea, Naruto-sama! I'll henge as him! That counts for twice the points, right?_

So Naruto does. Approximately 5 minutes later he is running for his life, dodging obstacles and people, winding from rooftop to street to rooftop, desperately trying to evade the horde of screaming fangirls.

_No wonder the bastard's so fit! If I got a workout like this every day, my muscles would be ripped! Oh Kami, they're catching up..._

* * *

_Okay, let's go though the routine one last time. Slouch - check! Eyepatch - check! Quality literature - check! Hiding in the tree outside the Academy - check! ...What does he do all day? He must get really bored wandering about the village all day looking badass. If only I could sucker ANBU into giving me a mission... Oh well, at least I have his books!_

10 minutes later...

_Holy crap, is he going to kill me if I burn these? He will, won't he? That's positively the last time I listen to his 'Icha Icha is quality literature' speech without beating the crap out of him! Oh, I long for my paints and brushes!_

_Hmmm, here's a nice view!_ *paints for half an hour* _Okay, bored now. Maybe I'll go harass Naruto about the state of his manhood! Though that could come out the wrong way... At least he won't beat the crap out of me! Because he can't, naturally. Oh, this could be fun! Here, I'll just paint myself a hunting bird, I'm tired of all this walking about... Oh crap. Nice birdie! Nice bir... Fuuuuuck! SAI!_

* * *

_6pm, back at the Hokage's office..._

"Teme! Thank Kami! I'm so sorry I've been such a shit to you! I promise I'll do better! Just take those vile fangirls away!"

"Naruto, I love you. I really, really love you, okay? But this is absolutely _the last time_ I set foot in that orphanage without you there, do I make myself clear?"

"Sakura, your job is far too easy. You still get no respect from me."

"Kakashi-sensei, take these... rags away from me. I feel unclean. I've only managed 5 showers today! ...No, _not_ cold ones. Wait... _WHAT?_"

"Here are your paints and brushes back, sorry if they're a bit caked. I meant to wash them, but on my way to the river I met this beautiful nymph who had lost her flute, and she asked me to-"

_**"LIAR!"**_

"Okay, okay, there's no need to get so defensive! Honestly, did the four of you have to scream so loud? I think you knocked something off in my ear..."

Tsunade sat behind her chair, a little gobsmacked. She had expected to feel smug as a bug when the five of them came back all regretful and understanding towards their fellow teammates. She should have known better! This was _Team 7_ she was talking about! She gazed lovingly at her sake before thumping her head on her desk.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings:** m/m slash

**Rating:** PG-13 for implied sexual situations

**A/N:** This is a somewhat meta drabble - the four madwomen featured here are real. Inspired by Naruto's L'Oreal moment in Naruto Shippuuden - The Movie, and what would happen if Sasuke happened to see Naruto just then.

* * *

**Fangirls ahoy!**

Sasuke is fascinated. A droplet of water is trailing down Naruto's throat, flowing past his collarbone, down his bare chest that is already slick with water. Naruto shakes his head; his hair flows backwards, dispersing water droplets in the air that sparkle in the moonlight. He wants to kiss that throat, lick his way down Naruto's chest, chase that trail past the flat, toned stomach and further underneath the waist of his training gear...

Naruto's eyes gleam as they lock with his. His lips are wet too; that's what happens when you push your teammate underneath a waterfall in a fit of pique. Only he's quite sure that he'd never look at, say, Sakura the way he's currently staring at Naruto, like he wants to pounce on him more than he wants his cheekbone unbroken. As if in a trance, he walks over to where Naruto is standing, unwittingly passing underneath the waterfall on the same path Naruto had taken. He feels the water hit his own bare chest and drench him in seconds. Naruto's eyes unlock from his and seem to fasten somewhat lower. He sees Naruto's pupils suddenly dilate, the sky-blue only a ring around the blown black. Naturo lifts an arm and hesitantly touches the oversensitive spot his eyes have stalked and claimed.

"Dobe," Sasuke purrs and steps closer. His fingers tangle in Naruto's soft hair; he tugs those luscious lips closer.

The moment is broken by a giggle and a brash voice saying, "Oh for fuck's sake, snog him already!"

He tenses, his whole body snapping to attention. He whips his head around as Naruto pulls away and resumes a fighting stand.

There are four... females sitting on a log not far from where they are standing. He has no idea how he's failed to spot them before; they are practically screaming 'fangirls'.

The one in the glasses seems to be typing into some sort of communications device. She is being nudged in the side and whispered to by the girl with a tree on her tee. The other two are giggling; all four are brandishing wine glasses. There's something on the lower log in front of them; Sasuke can just about distinguish white puffs in a bowl... _popcorn_?

The one with an honest-to-kami crown on her head seems to be the one who has spoken, and is currently giggling into her wine glass. The female next to her (there are weird cartoonish characters on her tee) seems to be rummaging through a dictionary.

"Luscious. Use 'luscious', I like that word."

The one in the glasses obediently types on.

"Oi, Aurrai, stop that! I don't see why you get to have all the fun! 'Delectable' is better, Sirona."

"I've already typed 'luscious' and moved on, Syrraki, shut up. Any preferences on who tops?"

The one with the crown pops her hand in the air and cheers, "Naruto!"

"Priestess, you're insane. And you're cracking the surface of the lake with that squinty-eyed look. Anyone with any sense knows that Sasuke tops," says Aurrai.

Priestess tugs on Aurrai's sleeve and sends her in the water, shrieking with laughter. Syrraki laughs as well until a well placed shove on her back lands her right next to Aurrai. Sirona smirks into her wineglass, narrowing her eyes vindictively.

"That's what you get for not reciprocating, you mean woman!" she murmurs under her breath.

Priestess slithers closer on the log. "Are they gonna keep making out or what?"

The two in the water share a look, jump up and tug the other two right into the water with them.

"My laptop!" shrieks Sirona. "I can't keep them in place now!"

Sasuke and Naruto share a _Look_. Hand signals are made and the two poof away, presumably to a setting more amenable to getting hot and sweaty.

"Now look what you've done," grumble the three females. Syrraki shrugs. "You can write them again, right? And get to the point faster next time, before they can escape!"

We shall leave the four to their bickering for now. We have more interesting things to see anyway, such as whose hand goes down which flat, muscled stomach...


End file.
